Whenever I mention the word motherhood I can feel my voice tone lowering

Hi,
Hi,
How can I help you?
Flat white please
Are you enjoyning the sun today?
Not really, I'm at home writing an essay
Oh that's not fun, what is it about?
Errrr... (my voice trembles, my heart beat raises, I feel insecure, I have to say that word again)
Motherhood and art... (in that moment the doors opens making some noise that luckily weaves with my voice)
Sorry? - the coffe guy says
Errrr.... ART  (I ended up saying with a smile on my face)
Oh you've got me there, he says
£2.10 please
Thank you
Bye bye

Left the coffee shop feeling quite angry with myself for not having had the courage to say the word "motherhood" with confidence and proud.

This is going to be harder than I thought.